What is Alanon? It’s a support program designed to help the families and friends of people who struggle with alcohol. Al-Anon focuses on emotional recovery, self-care, and finding peace, whether or not the person with the alcohol problem seeks help.
Below, you’ll learn how Al-Anon works, what it stands for, and why so many families and friends find comfort and healing through this program.
Purpose, Structure, and Principles of Al-Anon
Al-Anon serves based on its key purpose, follows a structure, and adheres to its principles to help many families and friends find comfort and healing through this program.
Purpose
- One main goal: To help families and friends of people struggling with alcoholism.
- Shared healing: Members come together to share experiences, offer support, and find hope through the Twelve Steps.
- Focus on self-care: The program helps participants stop blaming themselves and learn healthy ways to respond to their loved one’s drinking.
Structure
- Local Groups
- Small, friendly meetings (usually with 5–25 people) where anyone affected by someone else’s drinking is welcome to attend.
- Anyone with a family member or friend’s drinking problem is welcome. No fees to join; donations support meetings.
- Districts & Areas
- Groups choose a representative and meet in districts, then areas, to talk about shared concerns and organize events.
- World Service Office (WSO)
- Located in Virginia Beach, it publishes literature, manages the website, and supports the entire fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups, Resolute Recovery, and other related organizations.
- It’s overseen by volunteers and a board of trustees, not to control, but to serve.
Principles
Al‑Anon follows three guiding legacies: Steps, Traditions, and Concepts of Service. These work together like a three-legged stool: recovery, unity, and service.
- Twelve Steps
Adapted from AA, these steps help individuals heal, find serenity, and grow spiritually or emotionally.
- Twelve Traditions
Focus on how groups work together: unity, equality, anonymity, self-support, no public opinions, and more.
- Concepts of Service
Guide how the organization runs; how meetings, districts, and the WSO serve members. Emphasis is on service over power.
Al‑Anon is a caring, well-organized community built on these principles and service designed to help people heal when someone else’s drinking affects their life.
How Al-Anon Differs from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Al-Anon and AA are two separate programs that help different people, but both deal with the effects of alcohol.
1. Who Each Program Is For
- AA is for people who struggle with alcohol and want to stop drinking.
- Al-Anon is for people who are affected by someone else’s drinking, such as a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or friend.
So, if you are worried about your drinking, you go to AA. If someone else’s drinking is hurting your life, you go to Al-Anon.
2. Different Focus
- AA focuses on recovery from alcohol addiction. Members talk about their struggles with drinking and how they stay sober.
- Al-Anon focuses on emotional support and healing for people who have lived with or loved someone who drinks too much. Members talk about setting healthy boundaries, letting go of blame, and finding peace, whether the drinker is still drinking or not.
3. What Happens in Meetings
- AA meetings are about staying sober. People share what helps them avoid drinking.
- Al-Anon meetings are about coping and self-care. People share their feelings, how they handle difficult situations, and what helps them feel stronger.
Even though the programs are separate, they both use the Twelve Steps to guide recovery. Sometimes, a person may go to both AA and Al-Anon if they need help with both their own drinking and with relationships affected by drinking.
Who Can Attend Al‑Anon Meetings?
Al‑Anon welcomes anyone whose life is or has been affected by a loved one’s drinking. This includes spouses, parents, grown children, siblings, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. There’s only one rule: someone in your life must have had a drinking problem.
Teens (ages 13–18) who are affected by a drinker can attend Alateen, which is a branch of Al‑Anon just for young people. If there isn’t an Alateen meeting near you, teens are welcome to attend regular Al‑Anon meetings
No sign‑up, no fees
- You don’t need to call ahead or register.
- There are no dues or fees, though donations are welcome to help pay for meeting space and materials.
Meetings
- Open meetings welcome anyone interested in Al‑Anon (including professionals or students).
- Closed meetings are only for people personally affected by someone else’s drinking.
- You can join meetings face-to-face, by phone, over video or chat, or even by email or bulletin board.
If someone else’s drinking has impacted your life, you belong in Al‑Anon. No forms to fill, no fees, just support from people who understand.
What to Expect at an Al-Anon Meeting
If you’re thinking about going to an Al‑Anon meeting, here’s what usually happens so you know what to expect:
1. Warm Welcome
You’ll be greeted kindly and might get a booklet or a meeting list. People often introduce themselves by first name only.
2. Opening Reading & Serenity Prayer
Meetings start with a short welcome message or prayer to set a caring tone.
3. Meeting Format
- Topic or Step Study: The chairperson may introduce a topic (like boundaries) or a Step from the Twelve Steps. People share their experience with that topic.
- Speaker Meeting: One or more members share their personal story of using Al‑Anon.
- Open Share: Everyone can talk, usually one at a time, about how the topic fits their life. The chair may manage turns.
4. Sharing with Respect
People speak about their feelings and recovery, without judging or giving advice. There’s a rule of waiting one’s turn, confidentiality, and supporting each other.
5. Closing
Meetings often end by reading a serenity prayer, a Declaration, or a closing thought.
6. After the Meeting
People often stay afterward to chat quietly, answer questions, or share contact info. Newcomers are encouraged to connect.
Common Themes and Topics in Al‑Anon
Al‑Anon meetings often focus on shared struggles and helpful ideas that support healing and personal growth.
- Sharing Experiences: Members share personal stories of living with someone who drinks too much. This sharing brings comfort, hope, and understanding.
- Learning Healthy Habits: Conversations often cover setting healthy boundaries, letting go of blame, and practicing “detaching with love.”
- Using Al‑Anon Tools: Meetings focus on slogans, Steps, featured readings from approved literature, or a theme like serenity or forgiveness.
- Emotional Healing: Topics include grief, fear, shame, resentment, and how to heal from living in a family affected by alcoholism.
- Spiritual Growth: While not tied to any religion, meetings encourage finding a Higher Power of your understanding.
- Service & Support: Members discuss ways to support Al‑Anon, such as volunteering as chairperson or sponsor, and how service strengthens recovery.
Don’t be daunted, there are people to guide you in your very first meeting. Afterward, many often stay to chat and connect.
How Al-Anon Empowers Families to Heal
Al-Anon gives family members and close friends a safe space to talk, listen, and learn from others who are going through the same thing. Instead of feeling alone, people begin to feel understood.
They learn that they didn’t cause the drinking, they can’t control it, and they can’t cure it. This message is powerful; it helps people let go of guilt, anger, and fear. Through regular meetings, members learn healthy ways to set boundaries, take care of themselves, and find peace, even if their loved one continues to drink.
They also discover tools like the Twelve Steps and calming slogans that help them cope day by day. In time, families begin to heal not by fixing the person who drinks, but by changing how they respond and caring for their well-being.
If you or someone you love is affected by alcohol use, OceanRock Health and South Coast Counseling can guide you toward recovery and refer you to helpful programs like Al-Anon, where healing for the whole family begins.
