When a loved one struggles with drinking or mental health issues, Alanon offers family and friends a safe space to share, listen, and find hope.
You’ll learn what Al-Anon is, what their mission is, their common practices, and the resources they offer to help you care for yourself while supporting someone on the road to recovery.
What Is Alanon?
Alanon is a mutual support program for people who are worried about someone else’s drinking. It’s not for the person with the addiction; it’s for their family and friends. If someone you care about is struggling with alcohol or addiction, Al-Anon is a place where you can talk, listen, and get help from others who understand.
Al-Anon started in 1951, shortly after Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was founded. It was created by Lois Wilson, the wife of Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of AA. Lois realized that while AA was helping alcoholics recover, their families were also hurting and needed support.
She began meeting with other wives and loved ones of alcoholics, which led to the formation of Alanon Family Groups. Her vision was to offer a safe space for families and friends to heal, share their stories, and learn how to live more peacefully, even if the alcoholic in their life didn’t stop drinking.
Alanon Family Groups are also a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one. That means they don’t follow any one religion or tell you what to believe. People from any faith or no faith at all are welcome. In Alanon, members often refer to a “Power greater than ourselves” as part of the Twelve Steps, a set of guiding principles. But each person is free to understand and define that “Power” in their way. Some think of it as God, others as nature, love, or the group itself.
The Mission Behind Alanon
Alanon exists to support people affected by someone else’s drinking.
Alcohol addiction harms families, not just the person with the problem. Alanon gives family members and friends a place to talk, listen, and learn how to care for themselves.
The group’s goal is to help members find peace, set boundaries, and stop blaming themselves. It does not try to fix the person with the addiction. Instead, it focuses on helping loved ones stay healthy, emotionally and mentally.
The core message is: You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. You can’t cure it. But you can take care of yourself.
Alanon vs. Alateen: What’s the Difference?
Alanon and Alateen are both support groups for people affected by someone with signs of alcohol addiction, but they are made for different age groups.
Alateen is part of Alanon but is designed for the youth, usually ages 13 to 18. It’s a safe place where teens can talk with others their own age who are going through similar problems. Many teens feel angry, embarrassed, or alone when a parent or loved one drinks too much. Alateen gives them a space to speak freely, ask questions, and feel understood.
In both groups, everyone is treated with respect. What’s said in meetings stays private. No one gives advice or tells others what to do. Instead, members share their stories and support each other.
Common Practices in Alanon Meetings
Alanon meetings are quiet, respectful spaces where people come to share their experiences. The group follows a few simple practices that help everyone feel safe and supported.
One of the most important rules is anonymity. That means you don’t have to give your full name, and no one will talk about what you say outside the meeting. This helps people feel safe enough to speak honestly.
In meetings, members share their stories: what it’s like to live with or care about someone who drinks too much. No one interrupts, gives advice, or judges.
The group doesn’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, the power of listening helps members feel less alone and more understood.
The Twelve Steps: A Foundation for Family Healing
Alanon uses a version of the Twelve Steps, which were first used by AA. These steps guide members in letting go of blame, learning acceptance, and finding inner peace.
According to their official website, Alanon and Alateen members share what they’ve learned by using the Twelve Steps in their own lives:1
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Working the steps helps people stop trying to control the person with the addiction. Instead, they learn to focus on their thoughts, actions, and healing. Over time, many members feel less stress, more clarity, and stronger self-respect.
Resources Offered by Alanon
Alanon offers many helpful tools for people who are dealing with someone else’s alcohol addiction.
The main resource is Alanon meetings held in person or online. These meetings are free and open to anyone affected by another person’s drinking. You can listen, share, and connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
Alanon also provides books, pamphlets, and daily readers. These materials share real-life stories, guidance, and encouragement. Many members find strength and comfort in reading them each day.
For teens, Alateen meetings offer a safe place to talk with others their age who face similar struggles.
In addition to Alanon, you can call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). This free, 24/7 helpline offers support, information, and treatment referrals for anyone dealing with mental health or substance use problems.
If you or your family need more personal support, OceanRock Health offers compassionate help for those with signs of alcohol addiction and mental health recovery, with services for both individuals and families.
SouthCoast Counseling also provides therapy and recovery programs for alcohol addiction to support your journey to healing and stability.
Sources:
- Scot. (2017). The Twelve Steps | Al-Anon Family Groups. Al-Anon Family Groups. https://al-anon.org/for-members/the-legacies/the-twelve-steps/
